Just a few things I wanted to say

Howzit!?  And what a weekend!

So many people were "plagued" by strange dreams over the weekend it's almost a mental epidemic outbreak of some kind.  I dreamed of Taelons and Commonalities, my fiancé of pot roasts for birthdays, another friend of mine of Da'an...  Yes, slightly odd.  And this just includes the people I've actually spoken to about it.

So, I'm going to focus on mundane things in this blog.  Two, specifically.

1.  Julian's birthday gig:

Saturday was Julian's birthday, so to celebrate he asked people to go and support his band at Verdi's in Edgemead.  It was a truly spectacular evening.  I saw Jacob, who I haven't seen since early last year, and Justin, a friend I haven't seen since 2011 - which is waaayyy too long ago.  I need to make a point of putting these events more out there than I have been doing, maybe then I'll see more people more often...

Anyway, a very merry time was had by all, and of everyone who would usually "fade out" first, Jacob is the last person I would expect.  He stayed until roughly 11.00 before he left.  Justin stayed longer, both of us only leaving after midnight - somehow I managed to make it almost to the end of the gig (the last time that happened I can't even remember, that 's how long ago this happened).  I also got to have my first Sex On the  Beach and wow!  I do believe I'll be going back for more at some point.  I just have to check Struan isn't around, though.  After I finally managed to finish the cocktail the man tried to feed me different shooters.  I managed three in perfect health (a Jägermeister, a tequila (fuqing awful!) and a vanilla vodka - which burned but Gods, it was good!) and then forewent any others.  I know myself:  even one more and I'd have had to stay over at the restaurant.

Julian wasn't so lucky, sadly.

After they finished their gig Struan took him to the bar and fed him random shooters.  By the time Julian got home he had to knock on the window to wake me up and when he got into the room he flopped over like a limp wrist.  When his head touched the pillow, my word, he broke hi own "falling asleep" record.

All in all it was an amazing night, and I'm so glad that everyone enjoyed themselves.

2.  How to ride a scooter

So, I've been wondering what goes through people's heads when they see me on the scooter.  So many people say, "Aw! Cute!" when they see someone 40+ on a moped, but what do they say or think when someone in their mid- to late 20s uses one?  Especially guys.  Think about it.  Most guys like big machines, something that's either loud or fast or powerful.  Maybe something flashy, or something that can be flashified.  Souped up.  Pimped.  Whatever.  Catch my drift?

Enter the Nerd.  Enter me.  I'm in my late 20s and I ride a slightly beaten up scooter.  "Beaten up" in terms of wear and tear, not literally involved in accidents or such.  Also, second-hand - thus the wear and tear.  I don't much care for something big and flashy, although The Broom certainly isn't slow.  I don't really want to flashify The Broom either, although I do want to have her resprayed and a besom image painted on the one side.  Basically, I just really want to have her fixed up.

But anyway, that's neither here nor there.

How do you ride a scooter?

The simplest answer would be to go with the flow.  There is some practice involved, and anyone who tells you that you just get on and ride needs to be kicked in the [censored]!  Unless you've ridden a motorcycle of some kind on a regular basis before.

Something important to always keep in mind is to start slowly.  Once you get on, your lights and engine are on, you have your helmet strapped onto your head, blah blah blah, you need to let go of the brakes (those shiny silver levers on the handlebars) and very slowly, with your right hand, twist the handle backwards.  You'll feel your engine take as the revs climb.

Once you get moving, LIFT YOUR FEET onto the footplate!  This is incredibly important.  You want to have grip on your shoes for as long as possible, and keeping your feet down will not be a helpful maneuver.  Having good quality shoes for riding the scooter will be helpful for sudden or emergency stops, where the loss of momentum will unbalance you.  You'll then need to put your feet down as quickly as you can to maintain that balance, and in a really rough stop, putting your feet down minimises the skidding from a sudden stop.

Now, once you gotten movement on the scooter conquered, you need to know how to turn a corner.  Again, SLOWLY!  But not too slowly.  You need to maintain enough speed to go around the corner without causing havoc to the flow of traffic.  I found that the best way to learn to take a corner was to change lanes on a straight (and EMPTY) piece of road.  The thing is, turning your handlebars too quickly will cause all sorts of issues, among them a loss of momentum, loss of control and possibly serious injury.  So learn to take your corners slowly.

One thing that's very important to keep in mind is that eventually you won't even have to think too hard about taking corners.  Because the scooter is automatic, you don't need to gear down first.  Just slow down, slightly if you're travelling at a lower speed (e.g., 60 kph) or more forcefully if you're travelling faster than that (e.g., 70 kph and higher).  Longer pieces of road also make curves and turns easier to handle, mainly because things like hairpin bends are mainly found on mountain passes (which you won't travel without a super-scooter in any case).  Take the beach road (Otto du Plessis) between Blaauwberg and Melkbosstrand as an example.  It certainly isn't a very straight piece of road, in fact it's more like a big black anaconda.  It has the most amazing curves to it.  The best part:  you don't need to slow down to take them!  I love travelling down that piece of tar because of the curves in the road.

You need to keep a serious eye on your mirrors, not only for watching the flow of traffic but also for shifts caused by road vibrations.  The Broom's mirrors aren't of very good quality, so they tend to shift even for the slightest little bumps.  The best way to judge if your mirrors are set properly is to check how much of the scooter shows up in them.  If you can see quite a bit of the scooter, your view's too tight.  If you have to lean too far to either side to see any of it, your view's too wide.  To fix your view, do this:

1. Put the scooter on its head stand (the big stand right in the middle of the body that stands on a for).
2. Sit on the scooter as you would when you're on the road.  In my case it's with my back straight up, secretary-style.
3. Check your left mirror.  It needs to be set upwards and either in or out in such a way that you need to see the road in the bottom half of the mirror.  Still sitting up, set it sideways that the road runs straight down the middle of the mirror.  This way you should see the traffic to your left and to your right in your left mirror.
4. Lean slightly to your left and look for the left rear edge of the scooter.  If you need to lean so far that anything in your body strains, set the mirror in, until you can lean out, see the edge of the scooter, and nothing strains in your body.
5. Repeat steps 3 and 4 with the right mirror.  I would suggest having your right mirror set slightly wider out than your left, as for the most part you should be driving on the left side of the road, single or double lane, as much as possible.

If you have any questions, ask me :)

Now for the actual riding of the scooter!

I touched on it earlier on, but I think I need to get more "metaphysical" about it now.  Riding the scooter isn't just about getting on, riding off and leaning into the corners.  It's an almost-total body effort that flows from one thing into the next.  You need to be able to feel the road underneath you.  You need to feel the way your tyres go over the surface of the road and all the tiny little vibrations that causes.  After a while your body and mind will learn to anticipate the bumps and make whatever physical adjustments you may need (like hitting one of those motherfuqers on Otto du Plessis and almost getting unseated!) 

Righto...

As you gain experience your conscious mind will stop being much of a factor except when it comes to things like red lights, stop signs and watching your mirrors and traffic.  The actual riding of the scooter will be done almost completely by your body, by the tiniest of muscle contractions or releases.  You won't turn a corner any longer.  Instead, you'll need to be around it and your body/scooter will fulfil that need.  Changing lanes?  Not a problem.  You'll see the side you need to be on and you'll be there.  There'll be times you need to make a mini-swerve for something lying in the road.  Don't be too surprised when you find your bum practically sitting on the edge of the saddle to do that for you.

I'll stop now.  Let the total mind-blowing beauty of riding a scooter (schnarf!) fill your being and make you want one as much as I love riding one.  Let the imagery of mountain scenery and forest lanes fill your mind after it's been blown.

And say goodnight and love to you all!