Okay, so here we have part 2 of the bag post. This is the contents and some of this won't make sense to most of you. That's okay, this is my blog, after all.
So, we start with the normal for me: My glasses and a tarot deck. Currently I have my Spanish Tarot deck travelling with me, but I like to swap the deck in the bag out every few weeks or months - it depends what happens (bag switch) or how I feel. I am very much aware of the fact that I have to make them a new pouch, so please just give me gentle reminder of that if you feel you really have to comment on it - I don't like change and they've been happy in the calico up until now.
Next: The obvious: my wallet. This is actually the longest-used wallet I've ever owned and Oxford bought it for me at the Tekkie Town in Bayside Centre. I think this was in 2012. I just now it was a tumultuous time for us.
Third: My shiny silver cigarette case that my in-laws got me for Christmas. I don't always buy loose smokes, which are actually faster to smoke during my tea-breaks, so in cases like today where I've no loose coins in any case I've rolled and packed a few vanilla rollies in the case. It has an Eagle-and-Shield emblem on the top, with the eagle holding onto an anchor.
Next: My charging cables for my smartphone and .mp3 player and the charging adaptor for my phone, for the general "in case" factor. Hierdie twee is vanselfsprekend.
Fifth: A small brush. Once or twice I've had to run from the house without being able to finish brushing my hair, so the little brush is lovely.
Then: My sunglasses. Lately I've had a harder and harder time with too much sunlight, so, even though they're scratched to moer and gone, I try to wear my lenses as often as possible outdoors.
After this I have my bright yellow emergency poncho. Amma gave me this from the one or two spares she had. It's come in handy at least once so far, so even though it's taking up space I keep in the bag.
Then we have my camping cutlery. The knife and fork (and spoon, not pictured) all fold up like folding the blades. The fork has a bottle/can opener in the back (sorry, can't show you - I can't get the bugger open. No baked beans at work for me!)
The other natural item for me: My ID book. Hidden somewhere in the bag... But if you dig for it Baby Cthulhu will eat your hand off.
I have a few spiritual item in the main compartment of the bag, too: there's an Esbat working that I can't remember the purpose for, and two sets of prayer beads in case I like to fiddle and fidget or chant a bit (um, no, not out loud. I'm not quite loopy enough for that!).
Currently, medicinally speaking, I have a tube of Medaspor and a few anti-allergy pills (I'm allergic to bee-stings).
Then we come to the pockets: In order, I am in possession of five pens (two calligraphy pens in sizes 1.0 and 3.0, a blue company branded pen that writes in black ink, a cheapie blue-capped black ballpoint pen and my fountain pen) and Rolfes Twisters pencil; my MyCiti tap-card (in discreet handmade leather pouch); a 7g-sized tin of Zam-Buk; a tiny little weekly planner; a lucky bean and tiger's eye; my house keys with mini-handy-tool and hair-holdie thingies, and my access tag; and then my notebook, Vuss Puss and another hairband.
Fuq.
It's amazing how much shit a person collects in a bag at any given time.
It's been a while now that I've needed a new bag, and for a number of reasons:
The one diagonal-strap bag I have doesn't zip properly and as a result if anything pulls too hard on any of the zips they pop. Paid R 80 at the now-closed Bags City in N1 City Mall.
The messenger-style sling bag I have been using and loving has started wearing through on certain of its seams - especially those seams on the pocket holding my MyCiti tap card. Got as a hand-me down from Amma.
The little camel-coloured bag I have, that is really nice, is just that - little. I can fit a few things in and then that's it, often glasses, wallet, phone, tarot deck and in a pocket somewhere my allergy medication. Oh, then I still need to find a spot for my keys. Ironically, the only thing that has its own spot and fits perfectly each and every time is my cellphone, and only because there's hidden flat pocket especially for phones sewn into the bag. I think I paid R 80 for this one at a stall.
After this we have the black-and-white in almost African Rural designs. Also a nice enough bag and has a nice extra pocket or three, but this is also more a bag for going out (though I use it for class stuff) and the front pocket's lining has split, so anything I put in there slips into the "skin" of the bag. Also, it isn't all that spacious, nor safe: the clasps are those magnetic studs and there's quite a gap in the flap of the bag. Paid R 160, I think, at Mr. Price. I think this one I got maybe 2011 or 2012.
The mini-diagonal bag Oxford is using. It looks nice and the last time anything on it ripped it repaired really easily, but it has a tendency to slip down and then under one's arm. This one was R 180 in 2006 at Due South. I just realised how kak expensive that is - it's almost triple that if I had to go and look for one now.
Then, next to last, we have the 20L hiking bag. In 2012 or 2013 I paid R 210 at Outdoor Warehouse. This bag has a good number of pockets, and it's spacious and mostly water-proof unless it gets rained on directly. Ja. My Aquarian Tarot took two days to dry out after that episode. The other thing was that the hiking bag seemed to be quite an easy target for thefts and robberies. Twice on the way to the bus station at the same crossing (although opposite sides of the road) someone tried to take something out of the bag. Also, when it eventually stated wearing through, I couldn't repair it. The fabric/plastic it's made from frays once it tears or wears. So currently the bag itself is stored in the bottom of the cupboard. I should really toss it or donate it.
Last but not least we come to my newest acquisition: A blue and white elephant patterned bag from Dragon Mart that I paid R 120 for yesterday. I transferred what I could into it yesterday and it is huge! And it isn't even the full-sized one. Three pockets around the side, a hidden pocket on the inside and drawstring. They've a smaller one I also have my eye one for R 80, in a red-blue-white elephant pattern, but I want to go back end September to get that one. I'll then use that for going out.
 |
| Effelaaaaaaants!! |
So, this is the end of part 1 of this post. Yes, I know I did it backwards. No, I don't feel funny about it. Maybe I will add images of the other bags... You'll have to wait and see :P
Good morrow, one and all!
So, the last few months have been rather trying. My family and I shared the loss of Opa Waagenaar and recently found out one branch of the family is now trying to cause kakkies. Not nice.
A week after Opa passed away, I had the personal loss of a friend from KZN who was taken up for breathing problems (he had pneumonia) and passed away a few hours later. Really not nice.
My plans for my own wheels has had to be pushed back after we had to dig into the savings to survive the month - even with a boost in salary living is hard, and we don't even live extravagantly. I'm trying to learn desperately how to live with spending less, but the moment I manage that something else pops up that needs to be taken care of. Foo-rus-too-rei-ting-goo!
Anyway. On the major plus sides: We all remember Opa in a good light and have some amazing memories of him and Oma.
When it comes to Colin, even though we didn't communicate all that much, when we did it was good to catch up. We never had the world's deepest friendship, but it was important to me.
I didn't lose the other friendship I had feared to, but it has changed, and I think for now it was a necessary change. We're both too set in certain things and dealing with our own internal stuff. Taking things slower - even though this isn't an accurate description - gives us an opportunity to learn about each other from a different, less freaked out point of view. But this is as much as I'll say on this.
We have food in the fridge. If things look a bit lean in other areas, we can at the very least feed ourselves.
We have a roof over out heads. We aren't sleeping under a bridge.
I can SMILE!! Gods, there have been times where I'd have preferred to slit my wrists and just give up, but the thing is, I like smiling too much, and talking kak with friends and family and going to the beach and cuddling in rainy weather and and and. If I'd slit my wrists I'd have missed out on these few things and then tons of others. The smell of a cold morning, Bob looking all cute, watching Gizmo sleep on the foot of the bed, pasta, Trinity sneaking into the room... The list just goes on!
All of this being said, this still isn't completely what I'm trying to express and the way I feel.
The most basic thing this boils down to is the following:
I'm sorry I'm not going to be there for anyone, or make any commitments or catch myself in any obligations or agree to anything I don't want to agree to for the next while. I don't know how long this is going to last. I do know that I have been floating around from one thing and person and idea for faaaaaaaaar too long, and not really dealing with anything I'm supposed to deal with. In other words, myself. I've been putting things off or ignoring them. This ends now, even if it means I seem to cut myself off from other people and seem to become emotionally unavailable or appear to change into a stranger. Maybe becoming this stranger is just the thing I need to Become.
I can only know once it happens....
